Ilsa: She Wolf Of The SS (1975)

Posted on June 17, 2013 by Ryan

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4 out of 5 stars

‘Ilsa: She Wolf Of The SS’ is a notorious cult classic and a forerunner in the Nazi/sexploitation genre. Released in 1975, ‘Ilsa’ was directed by Don Edmonds, whose filmography includes several other sleaze/soft core exploitation flicks. In fact ‘Ilsa: She Wolf Of The SS’ is the first installment of an Ilsa trilogy which includes, ‘Ilsa, Harem Keeper Of The Oil Sheiks’ (1976) and ‘Ilsa The Tigress Of Siberia’ (1977). All three films star Dyanne Thorne as the insatiable, voluptuous villain, Ilsa. These films are infamous in the grind house movement, and recognizable to a larger, younger audience today partially due to Quentin Tarantino (His faux trailer ‘Werewolf Women Of The SS’ in ‘Grindhouse’ specifically). ‘Ilsa: She Wolf Of The SS’ is essentially a soft-core pornography punctuated by scenes of torture and prison camp life.

Watch ‘Ilsa: She Wolf Of The SS’ (Unsure If This is Uncut Version Or Not)

Like a concentration camp overseen by Caligula or The Marquis De Sade, ‘Ilsa’ explores the darker side of human desire, pain and gluttony. Before the film there is a disclaimer stating that ‘Ilsa’ is an adult film, and that the events depicted are based upon truth, condensed into one setting for dramatic appeal. I’m not entirely sure why the warning is read aloud in German, because the entire film is in English, but all the same I like the effect that it has. As for the disclaimer itself, I believe that gruesome medical experiments were conducted in Nazi prison camps, but that is probably the extent of the factuality in ‘Ilsa.’

Dyanne Thorne’s Filmography

Scalding Experiment

For anyone unfamiliar with ‘Ilsa: She Wolf Of The SS,’ the first three scenes can summarize the entirety of the film. The picture opens with a somewhat explicit sex scene showing Ilsa unsatisfied by a man who can’t last long enough to give her an orgasm. The second depicts Ilsa masturbating in the shower, achieving herself what the man couldn’t. Now the finale shows the same man being castrated and we realize that he is one of the male prisoners. Apparently none of the men can satisfy Ilsa’s sexual hunger, and after she is finished with each man they lose their manhood, becoming ‘half men.’ An American student living in Germany finds his way into Ilsa’s camp. The student, ‘Wolfe’ (Gregory Knoph) possesses the rare talent of complete control over his orgasms. He can hold back as long as he needs, permanently if necessary. Ilsa summons Wolfe to her quarters where she finally finds the satisfaction she has been yearning for. These nightly erotic sessions continue throughout the entirety of the film. In one scene Ilsa forces Wolfe to prove his sexual mastery by watching him fornicate with her two guards/assistants. The camp seems like hell for the men (Except Wolfe), who mill around their barracks when they aren’t digging graves. The men exist in some sort of sleazy, decadent ‘Stalag 17’ type world, bitter and frightened at all times.

‘Stalag 17′ IMDB Page

Don Edmonds’ Filmography

Prisoner Infected With Syphilis

Golden Showers For The General

The women in ‘Ilsa: She Wolf Of The SS’ fare much worse. Firstly the women are divided into two groups; those that will be ‘sterilized’ to serve the German soldiers as prostitutes, and those that will meet their demise through obscene medical experimentation. Little is shown of the sterilization process, and the few women chosen for brothel life aren’t addressed again after the initial sorting.

Typhus Infection

Fortunately for the viewer, in keeping with the exploitive spirit of the film, the gruesome existence of the medical testers is shown at length. Women are boiled until their scalded skin bubbles; their toes are crushed with pliers, they are left to internally implode in compression chambers and some infected with a plethora of deadly diseases. One poor woman has been given syphilis, aware of her imminent death and alive only for revenge, her face is eaten away by the disease. Another shot shows worms infected with Typhus writhing around upon a girl’s giant open leg wound. Most of the torture occurs in a setting that more resembles a dungeon instead of a laboratory or examination room. Also after dark, Ilsa’s assistants lose their tops and the torture sessions become topless or fully nude. I have grave doubts about the authenticity of these sequences, but who can argue with topless busty women flogging each other. Anna (Maria Marx), a willful girl among the group immediately fell upon poor graces with Ilsa and became the subject of her personal experiments with pain. Ilsa was convinced that a properly trained woman could withstand more pain than a man. This hypothesis, whether it is true or not just seems somewhat hair-brained and a weak theme throughout the film. But it isn’t the writing that attracts one to this film; it is the nudity, violence and gore. Also noteworthy is the part when the general visits Ilsa’s camp for a routine inspection of her experimental progress. In keeping with the spirit of the film, the general is a complete sexual deviant, unable to climax unless urinated upon (Which Ilsa does unwillingly). The film ends with a prisoner rebellion, allowing Wolfe and a girl to escape before Nazi tanks and troops arrive to slaughter the lot and burn the camp (Thus showing the general’s true reason for visiting) before it is captured by the allies.

‘Shocking’ Dildo Experimentation

George ‘Buck’ Flowers’ Filmography

The Punishment For Members Of The Opposite Found Speaking To Each Other

‘Ilsa: She Wolf Of The SS’ is highly stylized and meant to exist as entertainment instead of a moralistic statement upon humanity. There are numerous scenes of torture and degradation, but they cannot be disturbing with nude/half nude women bouncing everywhere. Films Like ‘Men Behind The Sun’ (1988) or ‘Salo: The 120 Days Of Sodom’ (1975) depict scenes of torture with a disturbing authenticity. While ‘Men Behind The Sun’ is more reminiscent of a legitimate medical film, streaming scenes of depravity and pain, ‘Ilsa’ switches between mild torture and sex scenes, softening the blow of anything ‘heavy.’

‘Men Behind The Sun’ (1988) IMDB Page

Even though the same types of experiments are shown, there is no humor, no campiness in ‘Men Behind The Sun.’ I was reminded of ‘Salo’ due to the libertine air with which Ilsa carried herself throughout the film. She had complete reign over the camp and explored her darkest desires without fear of repercussion. The dinner scene felt very much like Passolini’s film. But both of these films are much darker than ‘Ilsa: She Wolf Of The SS,’ unsettling viewers with heartless, humorless torture. ‘Salo’ also includes a great deal of nudity and sex, but again there is no gratification in the explicit scenes; instead shame and pity are the popular emotions felt by viewers.

‘Salo: The 120 Days Of Sodom’ (1975) IMDB Page

Don Edmonds directs ‘Ilsa: She Wolf Of The SS,’ perhaps his most famous film among a string of sleazy ‘B’ pictures. Regardless of his background, Edmonds did a fine job directing this film, although some of the special effects lacked authenticity (Particularly the shot of the soldier having his throat slit). Dyanne Thorne stars as the sexy vixen ‘Ilsa,’ a high point in a career that seems to consist of mostly soft-core or campy pictures. George ‘Buck’ Flowers is perhaps the most prestigious actor in ‘Ilsa: She Wolf Of The SS’. Although never a leading man, Flowers has appeared in numerous films of all genres, including family, sci-fi, horror, sexploitation, etc. Most of the supporting cast has little to no filmographies.

Remember that while ‘Ilsa: She Wolf Of The SS’ is a picture about the holocaust and concentration camps; it isn’t to be regarded as one would Alain Resnais’ ‘Night And Fog’ (1955). Very far from a documentary, ‘Ilsa’ was made with the sole intention of being awesome. If one were to pull any message from the movie, it’d have to be that Nazi’s are bad, breasts are good. I would recommend this film to exploitation/grind house lovers. For those unsure if ‘Ilsa: She Wolf Of The SS’ is your thing, just use the first ten minutes as a deciding factor for the remainder of the film. Don’t miss this one; it is certainly a classic.

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This Is The Credits Shot

Night Of The Creeps (1986)

Posted on June 16, 2013 by Ryan

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4 out of 5 stars

CONTAINS SPOILERS

Fred Dekker’s 1986 teen/sci-fi/zombie film, ‘Night Of The Creeps’ is an ode to horror as a genre and a cult favorite of the 1980s. The characters in the film are all named after famous horror directors, while the plot includes every teen/zombie cliché imaginable. Then of course there is the title, ‘Night Of The Creeps,’ which boldly spells out ‘campy B movie’ to anyone interested in watching the picture. I caught this film screened on ‘TCM Underground,’ a continuing series of cult films aired every Saturday night at 2am Eastern Time. ‘Night Of The Creeps’ was part of a double feature, followed by ‘Terrorvision’ (Ted Nicolaou 1986), and the two films definitely compliment each other as campy horror comedies about alien invasion.

‘TerrorVision’ (1986) IMDB Page

‘Night of the Creeps’ begins in media res with aliens chasing one another in a scene that more than slightly resembles the opening scene of ‘Star Wars: A New Hope.’ Even the score was similar to that of a ‘Star Wars’ theme. Two aliens were chasing another alien who wished to launch a dangerous substance into outer space, which just further reminded me of the plans that Princess Leia tried desperately to save by sending the two droids to Tatooine. Whether or not this was meant to be comedic I can’t say, but I’m assuming it was. The aliens look like monster babies, and are laughable on their own. Some time in the 1950s the escape pod containing the dangerous experiment hit earth on the same night as a maniac escaped from a mental institution and ventured on a killing spree with an axe. This was more than a coincidence for young Detective Cameron (Tom Atkins) who found the maniac butchering his ex girlfriend (Her current boyfriend was in the woods nearby getting infected by an alien brain-eating slug). We find out later that Cameron hunted and murdered the maniac before burying him under what later is to be a sorority housemother’s cottage.

Tom Atkins’ Filmography

Cameron confesses this crime of revenge to Chris (Jason Lively) as a man drowning in turmoil and confliction. By 1986, Cameron was a hardened, jaded, chain-smoking alcoholic detective with little patience and a checkered past. Another theme throughout the film is Chris’ relationship with ‘Cynthia Cronenberg’ (Jill Whitlow), girlfriend to the most popular Delta on campus. For some reason Cynthia begins to date Chris, which I can’t understand because Chris is the definition of a dork. Cynthia is connected to the story, not only by her farfetched relationship with Chris but also by her sorority house (the primary setting for much of the film). A portion of the town becomes infected with the alien slugs, leading to a string of corpses and police investigations. The slugs eat their victim’s brains while laying eggs in the skull cavity until they explode and a new generation of parasites scatter. One of the better scenes in the film involves the buried maniac bursting through the cottage’s floorboards. He is a skeleton at that point, though still wielding the same axe from his past. The events in the film aren’t terribly important to the plot. All one needs to know is that ‘Night Of The Creeps’ ends like most other 80s teen horror movies; boy gets girl, a generally happy ending until the final shot reveals that the villain isn’t yet dead. There was an alternative ending to ‘Night Of The Creeps.’ One depicts the zombie dog approaching Cynthia and spewing a slug into her mouth (The method of infection), while the other shows a charred Detective Cameron limping from the fiery blaze (where he burned the slug nest) and collapsing at the gate of a cemetery, splitting his skull and releasing a dozen slugs into the graveyard. I prefer the Detective Cameron ending.

The picture is yet another teen horror from the 1980s. During the 1970s a hoard of teenager horror films were released, but stylistically the 1980s lot is much different. There seems to always be a nightclub scene, complete with disco ball and a sea of shiny clothing. A 80s soundtrack for these types of pictures is always a necessity, and though it severely dates them, I still enjoy this type of soundtrack for films of that era.

Frank Dekker’s Filmography

But the first part of ‘Night Of The Creeps’ occurs in the 1950s, and Dekker also includes hits from that era to recreate a believable atmosphere. Both settings were designed well and felt believable, though undoubtedly cheesy. Robert C. New, (DP for a few other B movies and shows) provides elegant cinematography throughout the 1950s scene (in black and white) and the vivid 1980s. He creates haunting dream sequences juxtaposed against the gritty reality of Detective Cameron’s investigation. Beyond that the film is similar to any typical 80s teen/horror. Just try to imagine John Hughes remaking ‘Plan 9 From Outer Space.’

Jason Lively’s Filmography

Seasoned horror veteran Tom Atkins plays the gruff Detective Ray Cameron perfectly. Atkins moves with subdued anger throughout the film, constantly skirting a mental breakdown. He confesses a murder he committed 20 some years ago like a depressed and confused alcoholic. When Atkins isn’t battling inner turmoil, he is complaining and verbally abusing those around him. Cameron is the classic ‘bad guy’ cop character, breaking the rules but getting results, chain smoking and given to drink and excess. Tom Atkins steals the film with his portrayal of Cameron. Walking into a crime scene, Cameron even stops to smell a rose (Something Atkins adlibbed). However the main character of ‘Night Of The Creeps’ was Chris (Jason Lively), a whiney, prudish young man.

Steve Marshall’s Filmography

Chris’ roommate/best friend J.C (Steve Marshall) was equally annoying, though far more obnoxious. J.C. possessed better-developed social skills than Chris, taking control of most situations in the film. I found it amusing that after J.C. was killed, Chris just seems to forget about him. Absent is any scene of mourning; Chris doesn’t even show any emotion upon finding his buddy’s corpse face down in an alley. With J.C. gone, Chris’ main focus becomes Cynthia. Honestly J.C. had it coming; after all it was his fault that the alien slugs were released in the first place (Who stumbled across a cryogenically frozen man and decides to thaw him. Is this ‘Encino Man’?). Character actor David Paymer plays a very small role in this film as well as a scientist and then a zombie. Also look for the Corman regular, Dick Miller in his small role as Walt. His presence in the film is another example of its blanket homage to horror.

Dick Miller’s Filmography

David Paymer’s Filmography

Jill Whitlow’s Filmography

All of the characters’ names come from famous horror directors. There is Chris Romero (George A. Romero), Sergeant Raimi (Sam Raimi), James Carpenter Hooper (John Carpenter, Tobe Hooper), Detective Cameron (James Cameron), Janitor Miner (Steve Miner), Cynthia Cronenberg (David Cronenberg) and Detective Landis (John Landis). The school, called Corman University is also a nod to horror legend Roger Corman. ‘The Monster Squad’ (Another of Dekker’s films) and ‘Plan 9 From Outer Space’ are also referenced in the film. ‘Night Of The Creeps’ as a whole is an homage to horror, campy cult classics and the essence of schlock. The movie contains some great scenes of gross gore, and others comically gory (The zombie cat and dog).

‘Night Of The Creeps’ is one of the few films that Fred Dekker has done. This was his first film, to be followed by ‘The Monster Squad’ (1987), an episode of ‘Tales From The Crypt’ (1990) and ‘Robocop 3’ (1993). Dekker also served as the writer for Steve Miner’s 1986, ‘House’ (Not to be confused with Obayashi’s 1977 psychedelic horror ‘Hausu’). Dekker shows ample skill in directing ‘Night Of The Creeps.’ He clearly had a firm understanding of horror’s stereotypes and how to combine a spooky narrative with comedy. The writing could’ve used a little work though. Horror comedy is an old hybrid genre, dating back to the golden age of Hollywood (I discuss the ‘horror/comedy’ more specifically in my analysis of ‘Fright Night’). ‘Night Of The Creeps’ reminds me of ‘Return Of The Living Dead’ (1985), although the latter is a better movie. Regardless of my opinions, ‘Night Of The Creeps’ has become a certified cult classic, a period piece about a time when alien slugs could potentially be frozen cryogenically, escape and then plague a small college town.

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This Even Resembles An Imperial Star Destroyer

Tenebre (1982)

Posted on June 15, 2013 by Ryan

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5 out of 5 stars

CONTAINS SPOILERS

Watch ‘Tenebre’ On Awesome blog, ‘Cult Movies Download’

‘Tenebre,’ released in 1982 might be Dario Argento’s finest non-supernatural thriller. Often mentioned in the same breath with ‘Deep Red,’ (1975) and ‘The Bird With The Crystal Plumage’ (1970) as his very best, ‘Tenebre’ has much to offer. While it’s been some years since I’ve seen ‘The Bird With The Crystal Plumage’ I realize that as his first film, it exists not only as its own entity, but also as a beginning for young Argento’s long expansive career in horror. ‘Tenebre’ is a classic thriller; nothing unlike what Hollywood churns out today. Unfortunately though, Hollywood doesn’t have Dario Argento as director; and in this picture it is his style that brings ‘Tenebre’ to the next level. But the picture also boasts a solid cast, some of which were clumsily dubbed (A necessity for the Italian horror film). Argento’s film isn’t just gory and atmospheric; it’s also consistently exciting. ‘Tenebre’ features another famous collaboration with ‘Goblin’ as well as an abundance of creative kill scenes. All of these components merge to create a tactful horror thriller.

The Bird With The Crystal Plumage (1970) IMDB Page

Deep Red (1975) IMDB Page

Released in 1982 just after ‘Inferno’ (1980), which is another classic Argento (though seldom spoken of), ‘Tenebre’ is a great example of the Italian director in his prime. I’ve seen about 9 of Dario’s films, which can be split into two categories: the supernatural thriller and the serial killer thriller. While hybrids do exist (Phenomena), the brunt of Argento’s work utilizes the same techniques over and over to a point where I began to lose interest. The protagonists of his films are either evading eternal damnation or being stabbed. But while these conventions are nothing new to the viewer, it is Argento’s skill in execution and unique style that make ‘Tenebre’ the film that it is. He possess a very flashy style that when combined with a pumping electronic ‘Goblin’ score can perfectly set the mood to any scene, although his specialty would have to be suspense.

1980s Italian Women

Hitchcock surely had some sort of influence on this Italian powerhouse. Concrete comparisons could be made between the films of the two directors (In my opinion Hitchcock shows more versatility) in terms of content, cinematography, structure and style of suspense. Argento implements new techniques in each film just as Hitchcock did (I’m thinking ‘Rope’ right now), almost like he became bored and found inspiration through experimentation. Also noteworthy is the very long shot that curled around the interior/exterior of a building for a few moments, channeling the opening scene of Welles’ ‘Touch Of Evil’ (1958). Beyond being stylistic, lurid and taut, ‘Tenebre’ offers little that anyone hasn’t already seen. But I must reiterate, sometimes (particularly in this instance) a film’s worth doesn’t lie with its subject matter, but in the execution; the skillful direction of monotonous material could produce a timeless classic, like this film.

Dario Argento’s Filmography

Disturbing Dream Sequence

The plot of ‘Tenebre’ is fairly simple; a popular American novelist ‘Peter Neal (Anthony Franciosa) travels to Rome with his cliché agent Bullmer, (John Saxon) only to be greeted by a maniac’s turbulent killing spree. This shouldn’t affect Neal, except that the victims were young females and pages from his newest novel were stuffed in one girl’s mouth. The killer also uses a knife/straight razor (Just like in Neal’s novel), which leads the police to believe that the murders are somehow charged around Neal’s arrival. Also arriving in Rome was Neal’s estranged ex lover Jane (Veronica Lario), unbeknownst to him, she hides for the majority of the film, only to return for one of the greatest kill sequences in all of Argento’s filmography.

Listen To The Awesome Goblin Score!

More murders occur, and for each one Neal receives a jigsaw note from the killer. A good portion of the cast is killed, including one death caused by a Doberman Pinscher from hell. The style of murders changed drastically halfway through the film because the original killer was disposed of, causing Neal to take his place and using instead an axe. While none of the specifics become clear until the last ten minutes, we find out that the disturbing flashbacks, like an erotic vision of bukake seen through Fellini’s mind, belonged to Peter Neal, who was clinically insane. I can’t say I was surprised by Neal’s unsheathing, he was pompous and creepy for the bulk of the film. The picture ends with Neal faking a suicide, hacking a detective to death and finally being accidentally impaled by a sharp modernist sculpture while attempting to murder his assistant Anne (Daria Nicolodi). Clearly the film has many surprises; another Argento trademark.

Watch The Long Shot Homage To Welles

Watch The Dog Scene From ‘Tenebre’

Anthony Franciosa was a familiar face in this film. My favorite role of his was as the family enforcer in ‘Across 110^th Street,’ (1972) an unforgettable blaxploitation also starring Yaphet Kotto and Anthony Quinn. He played Neal very ambiguously, as a man that wasn’t quite right and the exact reason difficult to discern. The opening scene of him cycling to the airport to a ‘Goblin’ song was perfect (And what an asshole to ride in the middle of the road amongst so much traffic).

Anthony Franciosa’s Filmography

Then there is John Saxon starring as Bullmer. Saxon is an institution in cinema, starring in over 200 roles in 50 years on screen. He has done a wealth of work in cult/B/horror cinema, though his most memorable roles might be, ‘Enter The Dragon’ (1973), ‘A Nightmare On Elm Street’ (1984) or a slew of television work over the years. What I like about Saxon is the aura that he brings to each role. ‘Tenebre’ became better once I found out that John Saxon was in the supporting cast, although he easily could’ve shined with a larger role.

John Saxon’s Filmography

I don’t have a whole lot to say about ‘Tenebre’ except that it’s a gripping 1980s thriller that sits amongst Argento’s finer films. This film is the companion piece to my previous analysis of ‘Phenomena’ as a double feature showcasing quality Argento in the 1980s. I can’t stress enough that while ‘Tenebre’ doesn’t offer a great deal of originality, its precision is flawless to an extent that warrants this film ‘A Must See’ for Argento and Horror fans alike.

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Phenomena (1985)

Posted on June 14, 2013 by Ryan

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5 out of 5 stars

Dario Argento’s Filmography

Dario Argento’s 1985 supernatural thriller, ‘Phenomena’ is an obscure, rarely mentioned but brilliant film by a titan of the horror industry. I’d heard mixed reviews about this film from books and websites, but finally seeing it was a hypnotic experience that transcended categorization. The fact that ‘Phenomena’ can illude classification so well is a testament of its unique appeal; for this is a film that can never be remade, the people, places, setting could never be recreated. I’ve heard ‘Phenomena’ described as a movie that contained too many components of entirely separate films and of an overabundance of ideas all squeezed into one picture. But one must realize before viewing, that ‘Phenomena’ is a film of excess. Argento creates a unique plot with bizarre characters, remote settings, and haunting cinematography that all compliment eachother.

Jennifer Connelly’s Filmography

Dario Argento and I have had a turbulent relationship through the years. Like an old basketball in the back of the closet, every so often I will pull out some Argento, which only seems to briefly entertain me, and there they sit for a while longer. My problem with Argento is that with each new film I see, the nagging realization that he is remaking the same film over and over grows. Dario Argento loves to make films that include subjective perspective, mystery serial killers, corpses breaking through glass, an unorthodox investigation and knives. He seems to strongly love the horror/thriller style picture. ‘Phenomena’ contains several of these traits among other Argento trademarks. What makes the film powerful though, is the adroitness with which these clichés were executed– nearly flawlessly. For example there isn’t just a murderess revealed at the closing of the film, there is also her evil and monstrously deformed child (A mix of ‘The Brood’ children and the ‘Don’t Look Now’ spawn) to dispose of.

Check Out Goblin’s Score To ‘Phenomena’

Goblin contributed a great score for ‘Phenomena.’ The combination of music and film created several memorable moments. Jennifer’s sleepwalking sequences were amongst my favorites. Goblin have done numerous films with Argento, including ‘Suspiria,’ ‘Tenebrae,’ and ‘Profondo Rosso.’ Know apart as a progressive rock band, Goblin has become a name almost synonymous with Dario Argento and hold the inspired ability to perfectly set the panicked or whimsical moods of his films. ‘Phenomena’ wouldn’t be the classic that it is without Goblin’s contribution (Look for Goblin’s live show and scoring of Suspiria in Austin Texas, October ’13). In addition to Goblin, ‘Iron Maiden’ and ‘Motorhead’ make their way into the varied soundtrack with ‘Flash Of The Blade’ and ‘Locomotive,’ both songs making for very tense and atmospheric scenes.

Check Out ‘Tenebre’ (1982)

Listen To Iron Maiden’s ‘Flash Of The Blade’

Listen To Motorhead’s ‘Locomotive’

The plot is very dense, and while a brief synopsis might seem incoherent I am going to attempt anyways. Jennifer Corvino (Jennifer Connelly), the daughter of an American actor has travelled to Switzerland for boarding school and is almost immediately singled out as an outcast or freak. This is mostly due to her bouts of somnambulism and her telepathic connections with insects. During one sleepwalk Jennifer witnesses a murder, unfortunately she cannot remember her midnight strolls even with the assistance of an EKG. The murder Jennifer saw was never thoroughly addressed in the film.

Listen To Goblin’s ‘Sleepwalking’

But anyway, Jennifer makes her way to a crippled forensic etymologist’s (Donald Pleasance) home by way of his chimpanzee nurse (who is a strong supporting cast member by the way, but I still can think of nothing other than ‘Monkey Shines’). Naturally there is a connection between Jennifer and Professor John McGregor due to their common interest, insects. Eventually, after more women are slaughtered, Jennifer nearly killed and one or two more episodes of sleepwalking, the two work together to find the killer using the insects. A firefly led Jennifer to a maggot-covered glove that turned out to be infested with Grey Sarcophagus Flies, which feed solely on human corpses. Led by a fly, Jennifer travels to a house (The one seen in the first scene) where presumably the dead bodies lie. Unfortunately the landlord disturbs her just before discovering any rotting flesh, and a detective also working on the serial killer case in turn disturbs him. The inclusion of police in the film reminds me of the sparse and seemingly random cop scenes from Andrzej Zulawski’s ‘Possession’ (1981), another film that had a lot going on. Both films emit that surreal feeling at times, one that might counter reality while simultaneously assuring the viewer that it doesn’t matter, keep watching. The convergence of these events and plotlines occurs when Jennifer, just before returning to America spends the night with the headmistress’s assistant.

Donald Pleasance’s Filmography

The assistant becomes enraged, locking Jennifer away while she tends to a visit from the detective. Jennifer escapes by crawling down a tunnel and falling into a torture chamber dungeon, complete with a cesspool of rotting corpses and maggots, and discovers the detective is mutilated and chained to the wall screaming. With that pool of filth sitting there how could the heroine not fall in and flounder around for a few seconds? This gross scene was accentuated by the assistant’s cackling and the detective’s moaning, breaking his wrist and finally attacking and killing his captor. At that point Jennifer runs, finding and attempting to comfort a sobbing corner-faced child hidden in an adjacent room. Fortunately, the child is actually a demonic, deformed freak and the true wielder of the ‘ratchet knife’ that has already killed so much of the cast throughout the movie. The freak’s appearance was based off of Patua Syndrome, a chromosome disorder that severely disfigures the face. Jennifer escapes onto a powerboat, but is followed by the child who she (summons millions of flies to eat away his flesh) drowns and then burns when the boat/water catch fire. This should be the end of the picture right? Nope, the assistant returns, killing one of Jennifer’s father’s friends by decapitation. It looks like Jennifer is the next victim until the chimpanzee ‘Inga,’ McGregor’s nurse arrives and slashes the assistant to death with a straight razor. The plot can get somewhat involved at times.

The two main stars of this picture Jennifer Connelly and Donald Pleasance were complete opposites, yet brilliant performances brought them together in this piece. Jennifer Connelly was 14/15 when she gave the lead performance in ‘Phenomena.’ This was pre-‘Labyrinth,’ Connelly had only had a small role in ‘Once Upon A Time In America (1984). Yet somehow she finds the grace and emotion to perform so well in a film that was relatively demanding. She also had a difficult time with the chimpanzee, which bit off one of her fingers during the final scene of filming. One aspect about Connelly’s performance that I find admirable is the tact with which she avoids being a whiny teenager and is instead a misunderstood youth, not a ditz but intelligent and independent. Donald Pleasance on the other hand was a well-respected actor, a horror legend at this point, having under his belt ‘Halloween,’ ‘Escape From New York,’ ‘Wake In Fright,’ and ‘Raw Meat’ to name a few. Pleasance also starred in Polanski’s ‘Cul-De-Sac.’ Basically he had been around and his presence in ‘Phenomena’ only intensified my desire to finally see the film. His performance in the picture was subdued and quirky, perfectly capturing the essence of the friendly and humble professor.

Cul De Sac (1966)

Dario Argento has the uncanny ability to create a chilling, surreal or fantastic atmosphere in his films. I much prefer the movies where he ventures into supernatural territory because the ones that deal strictly with a serial killer lack the memorable scenes to set them apart from their many peers. Remember that though this film is messy, the jumble still rests amongst the very best of Argento’s films. ‘Phenomena’ is for those already familiar with Argento’s work and seeking one of his best (Also ‘Phenomena’ is Argento’s favorite film of his own pictures) or fans of those bizarre films that on paper sound too crazy to exist. ‘Phenomena’ is surely that, and in its skillful execution, Dario Argento hasn’t disappointed this time.

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Night Of The Comet (1984)

Posted on June 14, 2013 by Ryan

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3 out of 5 stars

Watch ‘Night Of The Comet’ On Youtube

There is a great deal of discrepancy as to whether Thom E. Eberhardt’s 1984 sci-fi/teen/doomsday film ‘Night Of The Comet’ is forgotten or not, obscure or not, or merely underappreciated. I can’t comment on society’s general consensus, but I can offer that I’ve never heard a whole lot about this film, maybe just blurbs here and there. The film has also been hailed as a feminist picture as well as a parody of the classic conventions used in post-apocalyptic horror movies. To be certain, ‘Night Of The Comet’ is a different type of survival film. It is a B-movie for sure, but chooses not to loiter in excess; meaning that there is no nudity or gore and very little violence. The main theme would have to be that ‘Girls just wanna have fun.’ Flynn used an interesting device in this film by costuming his actors in colors and garments that suggest their character roles. The villains wear grey jumpsuits while Samantha sports bright, flashy sweaters and leg warmers. Regina, being the more mature of the two is dressed in deep, rich and dark colors.

The plot of ‘Night Of The Comet’ isn’t terribly complicated; the tail of a comet crosses paths with earth’s rotation and everyone who wasn’t protected behind steel has been vaporized into calcium dust. However those partially protected from the comet’s blast have begun to decompose and appear ‘zombie’ like, choosing to eat carrion and raw meat. These ‘zombie’ characters don’t follow a specific description; some resemble the classic ‘NOTLD’ zombie, while others possess the power of speech and cognitive thought. The one commonality between the decomposing and the zombies alike is their tendency towards violence against the protagonists. But the ‘infected’ or deceased aren’t the stars of this picture. ‘Night Of The Comet’ poses the question of ‘what comes next’ for our two heroines and the bulk of the film explores this internal conflict.

Mary Woronov’s Filmography

Kelli Maroney’s Filmography

Catherine Mary Stewart’s Filmography

The main characters, sisters Regina (Catherine Mary Stewart) and Samantha (Kelli Maroney) are strong female leads, surviving on their own yet still under the roof of a vindictive mother figure while their father is away in Honduras. This lack of parentage shows in the way that the two girls treat the men throughout the movie. While men are present, sometimes as romantic interests, the women use them as tools in completing some vast task instead of saviors (a convention overused in Hollywood productions that prolongs the theory that all women need a man to be happy). At some point shortly after meeting Hector, a loner truck driver (Robert Beltran), Regina and Samantha are struck with the noble duty of repopulating the world, or at least Los Angeles.

Watch The ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ Scene

The girls make a trip to the mall where they shop and goof around to Cyndi Lauper’s ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.’ During this scene one can see the vain consumerism criticized by Romero in his classic ‘Dawn Of The Dead’ (1978). But this shopping montage from ‘Night Of The Comet’ is surely a parody of films like ‘DOTD’, which shows humanity’s natural inclinations to materialism in chaotic times, as well as being poignant. In a society without rules or repercussions, the notion of acquiring one’s greatest desires, free of charge is something we all would consider. The post apocalyptic setting is one in which the hierarchy of wealth has been leveled. It is a rare environment that allows the poorest vagrant the same opportunities as the wealthiest socialite. But this scene of avarice was brief; soon the women realize that there will be no one coming to rescue them. Hector elopes with Regina (They adopt two children survivors) and Samantha was paired with Danny Mason Keener whose only purpose in this film was to create a happy ending where Samantha wasn’t left without a mate (Flynn wouldn’t end ‘Night Of The Comet’ with the suggestion of a poly-amorous relationship). Danny Mason Keener might also be a video game wizard, as seen from the opening scene of Regina passionately playing during a work shift. The reason for the uncertainty is that Danny is driving a sports car and then comments that he has many more of them, leading one to believe that they aren’t actually his. Therefore the license plate reading ‘DMK’ should belong to someone else because I’m guessing it’s nearly impossible to get a vanity plate made in the post-apocalypse.

Director Thom E. Eberhardt’s Filmography

Robert Beltran’s Filmography

‘Night Of The Comet’ isn’t a flawless film. There is a great deal of events that don’t really make much sense, but who has time to brood over the technicalities of a sci-fi/horror movie. One must accept the actions of the characters and narrative flow as truth and reality, barring any pathetic dream sequences. One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that horror/B movies more than any other genre are continually making allusions to other films, peers, classics, canons. ‘Night Of The Comet’ features a reference to ‘Death Race 2000,’ (1975) a great film starring Mary Woronov, who also appears in this film. This is most prevalent in films like Wes Craven’s ‘Scream’ (1996), which brought complexity and witticism to a dying subgenre, and is essentially a salutation to the mindless slasher flick.

Check Out Death Race 2000

I would recommend this film as an alternative take on the post-apocalyptic genre of sci-fi/horror. While not much happens (there are no zombie hordes) in the film, it still stands as a vacation from the typical, ‘The Omega Man’ (1971), ‘The Last Man On Earth’ (1964), ‘The Andromeda Strain’ (1971), etc. The end of the world isn’t as daunting or dangerous as one might expect in this film. A hard rain comes and washes away the calcium dust, like a holy spring melting the snows of winter. ‘Night Of The Comet’ is far from my favorite film of this genre, but again I reiterate that it is worth watching, as an 80s classic and a very unique type of feminist/sci-fi/horror/apocalyptic film.

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Brainscan (1994)

Posted on June 13, 2013 by Ryan

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IMDB Page

3 out of 5 stars

Watch ‘Brainscan’ on this awesome blog ‘Cult Movies Download’

I was hoping John Flynn’s 1994 virtual reality/teen horror film, ‘Brainscan’ would be one of those hidden gems, overlooked at its time of release and since collecting dust in some vault, aging like some wine, awaiting its triumphant return to cult status with the newer generation of horror buffs. Unfortunately this isn’t the case. You never hear anyone mention ‘Brainscan’ because it’s ultimately a deeply flawed film. Not a waste (Because I wouldn’t go that far), but far from a forgotten classic. Apparently this film was based upon an old videogame called ‘Brainwaves’ or ‘Brainscanners.’ I can’t seem to find a wealth of information on the game, so I’m led to believe there wasn’t much going on there. But at its core, with ‘Brainscan’ we have another horror film about a misunderstood teen (not a badass, more of a jaded nerd, an avid Fangoria reader) who gets more than he bargained for after beginning a cutting edge, virtual sojourn into terror; ‘Brainscan.’ But like all films of this nature, Michael (Edward Furlong) can’t stop what he’s already begun, which brings about a great deal of angst, confusion and frustration (mostly on the part of the audience watching ‘Brainscan’). Now throw 1994 CGI into the mix and we have a film with a great deal of potential, and a decent opening sequence that somehow melts into an overall failure, punctuated by scenes of horror/gore. I seem to be dwelling upon the negative initially, but ‘Brainscan’ isn’t a wholly terrible movie.

Listen To The ‘Brainscan’ Main Theme by George S. Clinton

Watching this film I was continually reminded of those canonical 90s teen films, (some were horror) of which we’re all well aware of. The teen flick is an institution in cinema, phantasmagoric surely. Just as the 1980s had John Hughes films, and ‘The Lost Boys,’ ‘Fright Night,’ ‘Return Of The Living Dead,’ ‘Heathers,’ ‘Over The Edge,’ ‘Foxes,’ ‘Class of 1984,’ the 90s can boast, ‘Idle Hands,’ ‘Dazed and Confused,’ ‘Clueless,’ ‘Scream,’ ‘The Faculty,’ ‘The Craft,’ ‘Cruel Intentions,’ ‘Basketball Diaries,’ ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer,’ ‘Fear,’ ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer,’ ‘Hackers,’ ‘Jawbreaker,’ etc. The list is virtually endless when it comes to 90s teen flicks. While a number of these films are actual horror movies, most tend to be a horror-comedy blend, especially titles like ‘Idle Hands’ or ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer.’ ‘Brainscan’ however, avoids the conventions of 90s horror comedy, or at least attempts to. The only real humor is how ridiculous Edward Furlong’s character appears, sitting amidst his state of the art (for ’94) electronics and taking/making calls through his virtual butler Igor.

The 90s look

Of course the character of Trickster is equally amusing, whether that’s because he does virtually nothing (a pun!) throughout the majority of the film except lazily fill the role of ‘Virgil’ for Michael’s descent into cyber-hell. I’m being too harsh; Trickster did consume Michael’s head in one scene of terrible CGI that brought to mind the Freddy-snake from ‘Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors.’ I’ve digressed again; my intention was to state that while striving to separate itself from the ‘typical’ 90s teen-horror film, ‘Brainscan’ through soundtrack, costumes, and very dated CGI (All CGI sucks, although I like Wishmaster) embodies the cliche. The soundtrack features tracks, ‘’Welcome To This World’’ by ‘Primus,’ “Thunder Kiss ‘65” by ‘White Zombie,’ “Leave Me Alone” by ‘Butthole Surfers’ and “Make It Now” by Mudhoney, all artists that were at least partially synonymous with the 1990s. Now consider the clothing of the characters, denim, flannel, the infamous ‘shirt around the waist’ trend, (that’s returning with popular Hip-Hop stars) and the grunge hair, so brooding, so conflicted. Michael’s friend ‘Kyle’ (James Marsh) is the poster child for this look.

Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

Listen to ‘Thunder Kiss ’65′ by White Zombie

Listen to ‘Leave Me Alone’ by Butthole Surfers

Listen to ‘Make It Now’ by Mudhoney

Listen To ‘Welcome To This World’ by Primus

I feel that I would be remiss if I didn’t at least try to relate portions of this movie to an earlier work by Cronenberg, and lucky for everyone that I’ve made a connection. Whether it was the scene of Trickster emerging from the swollen television screen like Debbie Harry’s lips in ‘Videodrome’ or the entire notion of surrendering oneself to virtual reality, to hypnotic waves projected by the cathode ray or getting oneself in too deep with something that can’t be understood; ‘Brainscan’ offered definite odors of Cronenberg’s 1983 masterpiece, ‘Videodrome.’

Check Out Cronenberg’s ’83 masterpiece, ‘Videodrome’

Now I would love to analyze the two films scene-by-scene, minute-by-minute, but I am going to refrain so as not to waste any more time on ‘Brainscan’ than necessary. Consider ‘Brainscan’ as an adaptation of Videodrome for young adults, like those abridged versions of classics like ‘Moby Dick’ or ‘Great Expectations’ that have been simplified for children to enjoy. ‘Videodrome’ is a complex film, bursting with suggestive and thought provoking material. It was a portent to the dark advances technology was making, and a criticism of consumerism and programming on both ends. What ‘Brainscan’ does, and whether this is conscious or not I cannot say, but I’d guess it wasn’t, is translate the meaningful messages of ‘Videodrome’ into a teenager’s world, full of things they understand like school drama, awkward romances, videogames, or being a latch-key kid. Unfortunately the visceral message, the surreal question posed in ‘Videodrome’ was lost somewhere in translation to ‘Brainscan’ and we are left with a scattered movie that’s riddled with loose ends and short cuts, and the dream sequence, which leaves most viewers in a ‘why did I just waste my time watching this’ state of mind. I probably should’ve compared ‘Brainscan’ to ‘eXistenZ.’

Check Out John Flynn’s Filmography

Edward Furlong, also known as the kid from ‘Terminator 2: Judgment Day’ or ‘American History X’ had the unnaturally high voice of a eunuch. Although Furlong has since come upon harder times, it was during the ‘Brainscan’ era that he was at the height of his fame. It was actually his starring in this film that partially led me to believe I’d stumbled upon some misunderstood masterpiece. But we’ve already discounted that notion. There is also Frank Langella, a relatively esteemed actor starring as Detective Hayden, Furlong’s foil.

Check Out Edward Furlong’s Filmography

John Flynn, a director of numerous classics and one masterpiece, ‘Rolling Thunder’ (1977) birthed ‘Brainscan’ in 1994, a film with good intentions that didn’t quite come to fruition. Of course Paul Schrader acted as writer for ‘Rolling Thunder’ which gave the film his patented sadomasochistic themes and the obsessive, disturbing imagery that isn’t quite ‘horror’ in the classical sense, perhaps more obscure. ‘Rolling Thunder’ is the story about a desperate, anguished and severely wronged Vietnam War hero/vet. A brilliant film, one of the forgotten gems I mentioned above and completely free of dream sequences. I wish ‘Brainscan’ could make the same claims. In the film most of the ‘action’ occurs off screen and we’re left to see Furlong turning on the brainscan videogame followed by a cut to show him awakening from a hypnotic gaming session with little to no memory of what happened, and the viewers left to ponder what the hell happened and why we didn’t get to see it. The first (and only) kill scene we get was well crafted, shown through subjective perspective and featured Furlong’s character (shown through glimpses) dressed in some type of burglar/bondage black leather attire.

Check Out ‘Rolling Thunder’ (1977)

This scene was actually quite reminiscent of a first person shooter style videogame, and at that point I assumed a good portion of the film would be like this– yet another false hope. Now whether the gaming sequences were meant to be merely physical manifestations of Michael’s hypnosis or not is left as a bit of a mystery. At the opening of the film we see a German Sheppard carrying a foot, presumably the same foot that makes an appearance later in the film. I’ve heard several explanations for this confusing aspect of ‘Brainscan.’ One states that the murders, and severing of the foot had already happened prior to Michael’s beginning Brainscan. While another theory details that once the game is completed, all four discs played, reality returns to normality. The third explanation dictates that once Michael gave his principal the brainscan disc and presumably he began playing it, the Sheppard with the foot was merely showing his (The Principal’s) lack of skill in the game. As Michael was able to cajole the dog into returning the stolen foot, the principal was maybe not so lucky; hence the post script scene of the dog carrying the foot across the street. This wasn’t thoroughly explored in the film and leaves a lot to viewer imagination. Is there a right answer?

Check Out More Of The Soundtrack ‘Two Of Me’ by Old

Another element of the film that I found interesting was the juxtaposition between Michael’s pre-brainscan life, brainscan life, and post-brainscan life. Before playing the game, Michael seems like your average teenage underachiever with a proclivity towards the macabre and shyness towards women (Especially Kim, his neighbor that he spies on/videotapes from his window). During brainscan, Michael appears to come into his own. He moves with grace, skill and thinks with the clarity of a successful cold-blooded killer instead of a whiny, dramatic punk with a computerized Igor butler. It is during the brainscan phase that Kim confesses her love and infatuation for Michael (Whether this had anything to do with a knife being pointed at her is inexplicable), which could’ve just been a hallucination.

The post brainscan Michael is the most interesting. Firstly because we aren’t sure what to expect from him or reality, but immediately we find out that Kyle is still alive. Now, like a man who has just survived a harrowing ordeal and come out a better person for it, we see Michael approaching Kim with a swollen ego, mere moments away from taking her into his arms and carrying her to some breezy king size bed somewhere. However Kim flatly and awkwardly turns him down immediately, and Michael reverts to the pathetic dweeb we knew him as before brainscan. Was this a false impression of growth? Michael got his revenge on the principal who cancelled horror club, so that shows a change, but the incident with Kim still leaves me guessing, and once again questioning, did I just waste 90 minutes?

You’re going to want to watch this movie so you can join the discussion that’s been burning for ages, like an underground coil fire, ‘Was it all just a dream…?’

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Class Of Nuke ‘Em High (1986)

Posted on June 11, 2013 by Ryan

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IMDB Page

3 out of 5 stars

Watch ‘Class Of Nuke ‘Em High’ on Youtube

‘Class of Nuke ‘Em High’ is another Richard W. Haines and Troma production and while this one might resemble ‘The Toxic Avenger’ in a few ways, when placed against ‘Alien Space Avenger’ the two make a solid trash double feature. Along with ‘The Toxic Avenger,’ ‘Class of Nuke ‘Em High’ has remained one of the more memorable Troma films. I’ve heard this film called a lesser remake of ‘The Toxic Avenger’ and although I can understand how one might arrive at this opinion, I must disagree. For me ‘Class of Nuke ‘Em High’ represents Troma’s contribution to the ‘Teen’ movie sensation, as seen through the unique production company that brought us ‘The Toxic Avenger.’ If nuclear waste were taken out of the equation, what then would be the similarity between the two pieces? At that point, when stripped to its narrative skeleton, most films resemble each other, or the ‘Hollywood W,’ because most pieces follow the plot arcs in one way or another.

An Unexplained Semi- Mummy Found In The Rubble

Check Out Richard W. Haines’ Filmography

Check Out ‘Class Of 1984′ IMDB Page

Originally titled, ‘Nuke ‘Em High’ the name was altered to include, ‘Class Of’ so as to be misconstrued with the cult classic ‘Class Of 1984’ (1982). Upon first hearing of this film, I too immediately thought of ‘Class of 1984,’ so I guess the technique was a success. But both films revolve around similar topics, and include violent youths with a disdain for authority. ‘Youth gone wild’ is a popular topic for these types of movies, and although we’ve seen this narrative template countless times, ‘Class of Nuke ‘Em High’ remains constrained by the B-movie class into which it was born. Unlike ‘A Clockwork Orange,’ there is no philosophical grace in violence, nor psychological exploration into the heart of what makes a man evil. Instead the ‘droogs’ of ‘Class of Nuke ‘Em High’ are cheesy, somewhat comical hellions without real motives, except that of having nuclear waste corroding their minds. In fact the ‘honors society’ aka ‘The Cretins,’ which are the villain gang in ‘Class of Nuke ‘Em High’ resemble a conflicted blend of 1990s club kids and the post apocalyptic slags of ‘Mad Max’ world. What was the deal with the cave man dude who carried a bone, wore a mouth guard, black face and huge tribal nose rings? This film isn’t meant to make a statement; it’s meant to be a fun, campy schlock fest, full of cheap thrills, nudity and gore. But would anyone want anything different from a Troma release?

The high school movie has become a genre of its own, sort of a subgenre of the ‘teen’ movie. Alongside, ‘Rock n’ Roll High School (1979),’ ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High (1982),’ ‘Class Of 1984 (1982),’ and virtually every John Hughes film lies ‘Class Of Nuke ‘Em High,’ Troma’s contribution to the movement. I hesitate to include ‘The Blackboard Jungle’ (1955) or ‘Lean On Me’ (1989) because they seemed to execute the ‘high school’ movie in a different style. While many of the ‘teen’ films lean more towards comedy, there are the few that choose to showcase the evil that lies within children, ‘Class of Nuke ‘Em High’ would fall into the latter class.

Nala Tree Frog

High school/teen films rely on creating the academic environment, and socially overwhelming world of an academic teenager, although as one could expect, everything is greatly exaggerated. A jock, geek or goth character might exist in these films, but their identifiable qualities have all been greatly intensified; therefore a nerd wouldn’t just be a nerd, but the poster child for society’s connotations of a nerd. This is all fairly self-explanatory.

Radiation Monster, seen a la ‘Altered States.’

The Cretins

But we can’t forget that ‘Class of Nuke ‘Em High’ is also a monster movie. Somehow or other a mutant creature was born from the toxic waste spill (And of course the toxic waste is neon green; as if it could really be any other color). I’m actually very fond of the little mutant frog-rat monster that Chrissy belched up and found the scenes containing this creature were true laugh out loud moments. There are several simultaneous narratives occurring throughout the film: the toxic spill, the bullying problem, the blossoming romance, the tainted drugs, and the mutant monster all represent a different element, and the confluence of these various themes near the closing of the film is a sign of thematic complexity. I’m taking these plot points at face value because I don’t think anyone wants to banter on the plausibility that events would unfold in reality as they did in ‘Class of Nuke ‘Em High,’ or ‘Tromaville’ as we know it.

The Effects Of Consuming Toxic Nuclear Waste On Poor Dewey

So the plot revolves around a post-apocalyptic high school situated in the fake town of ‘Tromaville.’ ‘Nuke ‘Em High’ has the unfortunate pleasure of being situated about a quarter of a mile away from a nuclear power plant, which naturally has a toxic spill, contaminating the high school’s water supply, etc. Strange things begin to happen to the students, especially poor Dewey who is the first fatality of the film. During the contamination there is also a gang of violent, ex honors society students who call themselves ‘The Cretins.’ The gang torments everyone, and pushes drugs around campus. These two story lines converge when ‘The Cretins’ begin selling marijuana that has been infected by toxic waste. The third narrative involves the protagonists of the film, Warren and Chrissy who are new lovers attempting to solidify themselves as an item while also searching for their own identities amongst the constant stream of drama that ‘The Cretins’ cause. Warren and Chrissy were also the first students to try to ‘Atomic High’ weed, which caused various hallucinations and internal mutations for both of them.

Chrissy’s Miscarriage

Chrissy grew a child virtually overnight, which ended in a miscarriage. Warren however, would morph back and forth between a mutated super-freak and a normal modest high schooler, giving ‘The Cretins’ some of the backlash they

deserved. Finally there is the invention of the monster, which began as a restroom regurgitation from Chrissy that closely resembled the ‘Nala Tree Frogs;’ a favorite of Jabba The Hutt in ‘Return Of The Jedi.’ I believe the toxic monster to represent a vehicle for equality in an environment that desperately needed reformation. But the monster had no cognizance of whom it was killing, which forces this creature into the stereotype of wild card (For once I cannot liken a monster to ‘The Golem’); just another element in a film that already has a lot going on.

Jabba Eating Frogs

‘Class of Nuke ‘Em High’ is possibly relevant today, where it might not have been when it came out. Nuclear power was a concern at that time in regards to radiation, but today with not only nuclear plants, but factories of all types handling hazardous materials and their possible effects on nearby habitations has become a semi annual headline. Everyone’s been discussing the Monsanto plant lately, and we’re all aware of its supposed effects on the nearby East St. Louis. But I won’t get into a discussion on current events. ‘Class Of Nuke ‘Em High’ has become a satire of this new concern of society’s. I can sleep safer at night knowing that this film exists.

Infected Weed

Definitely a fun movie to watch, ‘Class Of Nuke ‘Em High’ is one that shouldn’t be missed. Far from perfect, somewhat flawed in execution, but regardless a good film. Take a hiatus from the David Lean retrospective and put on some Troma.

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Alien Space Avenger (1989)

Posted on June 10, 2013 by Ryan

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IMDB Page

3 out of 5 stars

Watch ‘Alien Space Avenger’ online

Richard W. Haines’ 1989 B- flick ‘Alien Space Avenger’ has virtually fallen off of the map. Currently there is no region 1 dvd of the film in existence, which means that one’s best bet for seeing this schlocky classic is an old musty consignment shop’s VHS bin or ‘taped from TV’ versions that can be found online. But is ‘Alien Space Avenger’ worth seeking out? Of course it is.

Richard W. Haines’ Filmography

Director Haines is somewhat of a ‘Troma’ veteran, creating such cult classics as ‘Splatter University (1984)’ and ‘Class Of Nuke ‘Em High (1986)’ and editing work on the infamous ‘The Toxic Avenger (1984).’ ‘Alien Space Avenger’ offers little variation from the over-the-top sensationalism of these other films and is a testament to campy, low budget fun. In fact one of the main characters, Robert Prichard playing the role of the fugitive alien leader, is no stranger to Troma productions either, starring in ‘Class of Nuke ‘Em High’ and ‘The Toxic Avenger.’ However what I found unexpected was Haines’ affiliation with Martin Scorsese, having done some archival work for him. Also a couple of the cast members went on to star in Scorsese’s ‘Goodfellas’ (1990). Perhaps the most varied player in ‘Alien Space Avenger’ is Michael McCleery, who began his career with Peter Yates’ classic heist film, ‘The Friends Of Eddie Coyle (1973)’ alongside legend Robert Mitchum. Other notable films for McCleery include, ‘Harry And Tonto (1974)’ and ‘L.A. Confidential (1997)’. But none of this is to say that McCleery garnered the leading role in any of these memorable films. I think he just had a great face for loitering in the background of a frame. Another recognizable face in ‘Alien Space Avenger’ is that of Kirk Fogg, who would later go on to host Nickelodeon’s ‘Legends of the Hidden Temple’ from ’93 to ’95.

Robert Prichard’s Filmography

Given A Giant Dildo After Asking For Weapons

‘Alien Space Avenger,’ forgiving its sometimes lack of narrative cohesion, actually has a pretty decent plot. In the 1930s an alien spaceship transporting 4 fugitives that resemble tiny lizard like creatures escapes and crash lands on earth. The fugitive aliens immediately occupy the bodies of a group of dim-witted but curious youths out for a night on the town. Unable to avoid bloodshed with the local humans, the aliens quickly return to their spaceship to lay low (for 50 years) until human technology has advanced to a point allowing them the plutonium needed to repair their ship.

Michael McCleery Filmography

Unearthed during excavations, the four aliens, donning the gaudy 1930s garb head to late 1980s Greenwich Village; so beginning a period in the film that exists mostly as a series of jokes and gimmicks about the comical blunderings of the anachronistic aliens. Heeding the primal urges better befitting to the Stone Age (Food, shelter, weapons, etc), the aliens naturally find trouble, a lot of it. Between slaying countless innocent bystanders (So many people), hiding out from police and hunting a local comic book artist who they believe to be their agent (who is simultaneously tracking them down to bring them back to jail. Like Tommy Lee Jones’ character in ‘The Fugitive’), the group finds time to indulge in the earthly vices like sex or alcohol– a necessity in any campy B movie. Well the film concludes as anyone would expect it to, with the human race surviving to live another day.

“Let’s Just Say She Gives Good Head”

‘Alien Space Avenger’ was filmed using vintage 3 strip Technicolor film, which seems a little odd. I will admit that I didn’t notice a huge difference from the quality of other low-grade B films of that era. It should be noted though, that director Haines published a book titled ‘Technicolor Movies’ in 1993.

Awesome Blog ‘The Bloody Pit Of Horror’ Reviews ‘Alien Space Avenger

To thoroughly enjoy film, one must indulge in a sampling of various styles and genres. One cannot be truly fulfilled sitting around taking in Resnais or Kurosawa classics all of the time. A subtle blend must occur. ‘Alien Space Avenger’ might not be the classic remembered for ages, but it’s already 2013 and we’re still watching and writing about this film, so something must’ve stuck.

I First Became Aware Of ‘Alien Space Avenger’ Through The Mixtape Sensation ‘The Whore Church Vol. 1. If you haven’t seen that, then do it NOW

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Creepshow 2 (1987)

Posted on June 8, 2013 by Ryan

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Creepshow 2 (1987) – IMDB Page

3 out of 5 stars

It is widely accepted that sequels lack the originality and grace that made their predecessors any kind of success. ‘Creepshow 2’ unfortunately isn’t an exception to this cinematic convention, to which horror films are infamous. In fact I believe Dante wrote of a circle of hell in which schlocky sequels are played back-to-back for eternity. But for those of us that exist amongst the living, ‘Creepshow 2’ is far from unwatchable like some of the later ‘Hellraiser’ films, instead it is a very mellow, easily watchable (and forgettable) horror anthology flick. Part of what makes sequels worthwhile is their honest attempt to create something new, to cash in on a prior success while still bringing refreshing or shocking elements to a franchise that doesn’t really need it. Sequels are excessive, schlocky, campy, simplistic, but for real fans, especially of the horror genre, turning a film that originally stood upon its own into a type of series. They have the ability to sustain ones desire for more of a specific storyline or realm. Take for instance the ‘Nightmare On Elm Street’ series; I can differentiate between the various films by the different crazy and inventive ways that Freddy killed teenagers, and in that way each of those films possesses a certain worth to me.

Director Michael Gornick’s Filmography

The tales featured in ‘Creepshow 2’ aren’t anything anyone hasn’t seen before and there isn’t a parade of cameos to gratify the palates of cinephiles. Well that isn’t to say there aren’t any notable stars in the film. Older actors like ‘George Kennedy’ or ‘Dorothy Lamour’ can be seen alongside lesser-known actors like ‘Holt McCallany’ and ‘Don Harvey’ and of course the brief though concealed appearance by ‘Tom Savini.’ With any Romero related work, Savini is usually a familiar face. In fact ‘Michael Gornick,’ the director acted as DP in several of Romero’s more notable films from the 1970s, including ‘Dawn Of The Dead,’ ‘Martin’ and the awesomely obscure ‘Knightriders.’

Tom Savini In Costume

First we have ‘Old Chief Wood’nhead,’ a tale of revenge that is like a blend of the classic tale of ‘The Golem’ mixed with the supernatural Native American realm breeched in ‘The Manitou.’ Simplified, this is about a rundown mercantile owned by a good natured elderly couple (played by Kennedy and Lamour) and situated in the heart of a ghost town is brutally robbed and the couple murdered by a group of daft young punks, the leader of which is nephew to the local Indian Chief. This Brave has dreams of Hollywood stardom and an odd obsession with his own hair. Anyway the real motivator for the story is the reclamation of the sacred Native American pendants and jewels that are stolen from the shopkeeper during the robbery. ‘Old Chief Wood’nhead’ actually refers to the cigar store Indian that resides outside of the shop that is drawn to life like a golem and systematically hunts and murders the three criminals. It’s really that simple.

Lake Victim

Weird Sex Scene

The second story, ‘The Raft’ is sort of like ‘Friday The 13^th’ meets ‘Tremors,’ meets ‘Cabin Fever.’ This middle story is the only one of the three to utilize the ‘fast young teens, abusing drugs, alcohol and oozing promiscuity’ template. One of the things that I find interesting (bust mostly just weird) about ‘The Raft’ is the scene when the main character, ‘Randy’ while trapped upon the raft with his deceased friend’s girl begins to fondle her sleeping body. Everyone understands the way that these types of films usually feature a sex scene in a time of strife, one that doesn’t always make sense but no one can argue with. But there was something especially creepy about this scene, which somehow made it all the more believable. The inclusion of his groping his sleeping friend wasn’t just unnecessary but also spoke volumes about the character, our protagonist in ‘The Raft.’ Other notable details of this piece is a lake monster that resembles a giant lily pad but also causes its victims’ skin to melt off when consumed (something like acid).

Check Out The Original Creepshow

The final tale, ‘The Hitchhiker’ is pretty much the basis for ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer,’ minus the teen angst and drama. Instead we have an avaricious middle aged socialite, our main character returning from an affair (which cost $150) to her house when she accidentally hits and kills a hitchhiker with a yellow raincoat and a sign for ‘Dover.’ Needless to say the said hitchhiker, like some vengeful demon returns repeatedly until he has claimed her life. Usual rules for zombies do not apply here. Not much to say about this one except that it features a cameo by Stephen King, which is perhaps its most redeemable quality.

Youtube Video About Creating The Special Effects In ‘Creepshow 2′

Check Out George A Romero Related Films

All three of these vignettes seem more like scenes from a more thematically complex horror film instead of minute tales meant to exist upon their own. Also missing from these pieces are the black and white morals that accompany so many films in this genre. Even shows like ‘Tales From The Crypt’ which is essentially the same as the ‘Creepshow’ franchise possess their moralistic reminders at the closing of each episode, although most messages are generally the same: Don’t be a dick—or bad things will happen to you—aka ‘karma.’ The most I can pull from ‘Creepshow 2’ is don’t hit and run, Don’t fondle your sleeping friend (?) and don’t steal from the hand that feeds you.

Check Out Other Stephen King Films

I would still recommend this film to any horror fans. ‘Creepshow 2’ might not be a masterpiece, nor does it offer anything we haven’t already seen but it holds a special place for me as a VHS I often watched in my youth, and therefore worthy of mention in the Séance Of Cinema.

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Joe (1970)

Posted on December 16, 2012 by Ryan

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5 out of 5 stars

Joe Curran – One Of Cinema’s Most Complex Characters

Few films are as moving as John Avildsen’s 1970 classic depiction of the white backlash, ‘Joe.’ While offering an unflinching glimpse into opposing American cultures of the late 1960s/ 1970, ‘Joe’ poses questions of morality, ethics, diversity, hatred and friendship among many others. One of the strongest qualities of ‘Joe’ is that it breaks the rules and creates a totally unique story. Released in 1970, this film is a perfect example of the drastic change in cinema that was taking place at that time. A new, younger set of filmmakers were taking chances with subject matter and offering more brutally honest depictions of controversial characters and situations. This era of film offered numerous critically acclaimed box office hits, while retaining artistic dignity, creative ingenuity and vision in regards to each work as a whole. Films like ‘Joe’ couldn’t have been made before the 1970s; they were too controversial, too blunt in their messages, but neither could they be made today. American cinema of the 1970s is a time capsule for a dead era, forgotten by all those who weren’t alive to ‘live it.’

The Streets Of New York City Circa 1969/1970

For this reason alone, people like myself, who weren’t around when these classics were first seen by audiences, and couldn’t walk out of the theatre into the dawning of a phantasmagoric society, must hold these works as scripture, as an encyclopedic documentation of the past and a peregrine race that no longer roams the urban warrens or hills. Try to imagine a remake of ‘Joe?’ Who would be cast instead of Peter Boyle? Would it be Philip Seymour Hoffman? These questions are best left to the intellectual thug of present day. A remake of ‘Joe’ wouldn’t be relevant any longer in the same terms; race issues are no longer the booming issue they once were, and our youth, though daft in their own right, aren’t the cultural abomination they once were to society of the 1960s/70s.

: The American As A Soldier

: Blue Collar Camaraderie

Dennis Patrick’s Filmography

‘Joe’ is a film that, like some malevolent volcano rumbles before exploding into a chaotic spray of magma, of hatred, of violence. This is a piece that sets the groundwork for pressure to continually build, piling layer upon layer of discomfort and angst. While the release of these components might be vulgar or ugly, one cannot help but stare, transfixed by the horror that unfolds with surprising yet simple, pristine beauty. I liken the ending of ‘Joe’ to one gazing into the blaze of a burning civilization, with detached somberness and sadistic hunger. Like ‘Tracks’ (1977), ‘The Gambler’ (1974), ‘WUSA’ (1970) or ‘The Day Of The Locust’ (1975) which offer startlingly savage endings, accommodating for any dull moments during the film, ‘Joe’ shares a similarity, like a drawn out hellish nightmare, or an atonement for everything seen as base. I sometimes find that great films can possess boring or even ‘bad’ scenes, ones necessary to propel the plot, yet offer no real cinematic merit. But it’s the dazzling sequences that are so powerful and moving that, in retrospect one immediately decrees a film to ‘5 star’ status despite its weaker moments. I thrive upon scenes like these in film and have attempted to keep a mental catalogue of them in hopes of creating a series of some kind; the ending of ‘Joe’ is of course vital to this list.

: The Spoils Of An Internal Civil War

: John G. Avildsen’s Filmography

Friendship

Friendship is a strong theme throughout ‘Joe,’ and is the basis of Joe and Bill’s relationship. They have a friendship based upon commonalities, feeling underappreciated, disrespected and generally powerless in the face of changing times. The beauty of the union between these two men is that though they haunt very opposing worlds, their plight is the same, their beliefs alike, and both find themselves relics in a youngster’s world. It takes the accidental murder of Bill’s daughter’s boyfriend, a loathsome junkie pusher, to bring these two men together one fateful night. Upon first meeting it’s clear that Bill, a well compensated executive in the advertising industry is skeptical that he and Joe could maintain a relationship, but both come to realize that the bonds of masculinity run deeper than the clothes one wears, where one lives, or the size of one’s pocketbook.

The Urinal Scene

The men get drunk, showing each other their favorite drinking holes and poking fun at the faux classicism that would normally spurn the bonding of men like Bill and Joe. At the urinal Bill makes a joke that he can’t lift his penis because the doctor told him ‘nothing over ten pounds’ and they both laugh and urinate beside each other, sharing ‘one of the simple joys in life.’ This scene drips with realism; there is nothing phony nor constructed about an interaction of that kind, and in my opinion is a genius inclusion in the film’s narrative. But is Bill and Joe’s friendship a good thing? Like any maniacal or murderous duo, one can only imagine the results if they had only never met. Yet somehow we, the audience can smile and laugh at the drunken antics of these men, and then gawk as they slay in the name of America, the free.

: Watch The Final Scene From Joe

: The Rumbling Uneasiness

: Listen To The Theme Song From Joe

Peter Boyle plays the title role of Joe, the anti-hero, opinionated, hateful, stubborn and misogynistic, but thoroughly complex. But one must look at the roots of Joe’s bigotry to understand him as a character. He is bitter, but only because he feels that his lot in life is much too meager, his lavish lifestyle stolen from him and dispersed amongst the poorer classes, the blacks, the welfare recipients. Joe went to war for his country, he fought and killed in the name of America, so that he and his kin might reap the fruits of a free society.

Peter Boyle’s Filmography

He works in a factory and toils day in and out for a pitiful hourly wage, and to Joe, that is entirely respectable. The blue-collar class is the pulp of America. Look closely into each star upon the American flag and you’ll find the visage of weary, sweat stained faces, putting in the hours, operating the machinery, and standing in the production lines that produce the American dream. It is a hard life, one with a slight pay off when compared to the physical and psychological ache one expends working for a living, ingesting and imbibing the fruits of hard labor. Joe has hatred, rightfully so, but perhaps his feelings are displaced, perhaps not, that is an issue for each man to decide on his own, and a topic that rests directly in the pompous heart of politics, which I don’t care to discuss on this site.

Watch Joe’s Bar Rant Scene

The intriguing part of Joe’s character is that men like him are a reality, even today. They possess similar ideals and hold like altruisms, even if they’re mostly self-interested. But a society is built upon various types and the character of ‘Joe’ is an ancient one, an American through and through. He is a pawn of the system, and happy to be such, but he is far from a stupid man. Joe deducted that Bill Compton was the killer, and he hunted him down, not to blackmail Compton, but to shake his hand. It is true that Joe could’ve amassed quite a sum from Bill, but his heart was generally pure, and seeing this new man as a friend or a hero dissuaded him from blackmail. I’m not proclaiming Joe Curran as some type of saint, but merely exposing the complexity of his character, because he isn’t an entirely loathsome creature if understood.

: Listen To More Of The Soundtrack To Joe – Exuma: You Dont Know Whats Going On

: First Orgy For Joe

One of my favorite aspects of ‘Joe’ is that it defies classification at every turn. Watching the film for the first time, I was discouraged that I may’ve been beginning another ‘junkie’ film with an easily predictable plot and the same series of highs and lows that all films about drug addicted couples share. Luckily, ‘Joe’ breaks the rules, and like Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘Psycho,’ we are given a sizable, jarring twist in the narrative flow, transforming the piece into something entirely different.

Watch Another Scene From Joe On Youtube

I’ve had similar concerns when watching this film with others, always worried that perhaps they had accepted that they were in store for yet another heroin movie; I hoped that my guest viewers gave the film enough of a chance to reach the real meaty weight. The true plot of the film unfolds with the first appearance of Peter Boyle as Joe Curran. Even from that point, the plot still continued to leave me guessing, and never disappointed. What ‘Joe’ shows is gritty, and rough, unflinching in its depiction of reality, yet mildly glorifying in its violence. While Avildsen utilized a variety of techniques in creating ‘Joe’ (And some more skillful than others; for example the fact that Frank the dealer’s murder would be front page news is highly unlikely) we never doubt the realism of what we’re seeing for a second. John Avildsen went on to direct ‘Rocky’ and ‘The Karate Kid,’ two films that might as well be comedies in comparison to this frightening period piece. But that isn’t to say ‘Joe’ doesn’t possess scenes of humor; they are in fact laced throughout the entire framework of the tale.

: The Men Partaking In The Party Favors

: Beautiful Dark Imagery

: Beautiful Violence

The shining achievement of ‘Joe’ is its complex message that shies away from simplicity. Initially, we may all condemn Joe as some hateful bigot, but as I’ve mentioned before, his character, though outwardly appearing relatively simple, is a multi faceted statement about disenchantment, angst, desire and the American dream. We’ve reached an era in society that allows films such as ‘Joe’ to become relevant once again. With the left wing political party in reign, backlash from right wing citizens is something that can be expected, and though the issues of today might differ from those of Joe’s time, the actions of men like him can be just as rancorous. It is a shame that middle aged, blue-collar men like Joe feel alienated by the youth, but does that ever justify vigilante style execution? I read that the character of Archie Bunker from ‘All In The Family’ was based upon Joe Curran.

All In The Family’s Archie Bunker

It’s interesting to me that a character so opinionated and outwardly abrasive would seem fitting for the star of any sitcom. While it’s clear that Joe’s stronger beliefs were toned down for ‘All In The Family’ one can still identify the same ideals when watching the sitcom, and for me it’s somewhat disturbing. I’ve seen many episodes of ‘All In The Family’ and am quite familiar with the character of ‘Archie Bunker,’ but somehow my whole conception of him has changed after comparing him to Joe Curran. I can now imagine that behind every comical encounter lies the bloodlust to kill, for what’s seen as right, stolen or lost.

I would recommend ‘Joe’ to fans of 1970s American cinema. Few films pack quite a whirling punch as this 1970 piece, and though it might seem somewhat dated, I implore all who watch ‘Joe’ to attempt to translate its message into present day circumstances and allow its realism to drift them into a seething sect of society that really does exist. Joe is an every day man that you might pass on the street, returning home, toting his lunch box, unaware to all that within his burly frame hides the notion to kill for what’s his, a former soldier, a devout countryman, a repressed American. The depictions of unglamorous characters and situations is part of what made the 1970s so fresh and startling, that combined with the beautiful grittiness of the piece has chiseled a nook in the hall of classics for ‘Joe.’ I’m always searching for my next favorite movie, and while I’ve seen other films like ‘Joe’ none have been quite so poignant while unexpected. The film is like a drunken tirade, a nightmare in which you awaken the next morning to the confusion and horror of what you might’ve done the night before. For all of these reasons and more, ‘Joe’ is perhaps my favorite film that I’ve discussed on this blog, and wholly deserving of its 5 star rating.

: Susan Sarandon’s Debut

: Watch The Trailer On Youtube

Seance Of Cinema

Forging A Bond With Dead Films

Ilsa: She Wolf Of The SS (1975)

Night Of The Creeps (1986)

Tenebre (1982)

Phenomena (1985)

Night Of The Comet (1984)

Brainscan (1994)

Class Of Nuke ‘Em High (1986)

Alien Space Avenger (1989)

Creepshow 2 (1987)

Joe (1970)